Dreams

ALTER TABLE [human].[me]
ALTER COLUMN [personality] [awesome] not null

Fail

Sandwich.pl

#!/usr/bin/perl
use kitchen;
my @sandwich=qw(bread ham cheese more_bread);
$sandwich=join('mustard',@sandwich);
chomp($sandwich);

Consoling Your Friend

DECLARE Edict varchar(25)
SET @Edict = "Forget-about-the-girl"
USE You
SELECT Empathy FROM You.YourStupidFace WHERE (YourName = (substring(Edict,1,1) & substring(Edict,8,1) & substring(Edict,18,1)))